I barely have time to shower thoroughly everyday... How am I supposed to take care of my kids, my spouse, myself and then magically carve out time to see friends? Do I have friends? What is a friend? These are all questions that I have had since I became a mom. Maybe you are reading this and you are like, “amen sister, I feel you.” Or maybe, just maybe, you are like I should absolutely stop reading... This woman is crazy!” I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I am crazy. I’m crazy about making sure that my family is not just good, but great. I’m crazy about making sure that I take time for myself, because that’s when I’m the best wife and mom. I’m also just a little bit crazy - an undefined, unapologetic version of myself.
I will start from the beginning.... I didn’t feel like I had a ton of friends when I graduated from high school, I had a few quality friends who I still see today. I felt like high school was a total popularity contest... And here is the thing, I was never a “nerd” but by the time I received my HS diploma I wasn’t concerned about what other people though of me. I wasn’t perfect, I made bad choices and said mean things, but I was ready to head to college and be the person who I knew that I needed to be.
College.... Man, I was incredibly lucky. The girls who lived on my floor in the dorms were SO FUN and we hit it off right away. I once heard that if you are friends with someone for 6 years, you will be friends forever.... Good thing we met then because we’re all stuck with each other now. ;) These friendships have evolved over the past 12 years, and I am so grateful for these women. Each of them provides something completely priceless to me. But how do I keep up with them? Let’s be real for a second... Snapchat. And not all of them are married or moms, but we make it work! It’s so special.
Okay, on to the juicy stuff. Mom friends. I have a lot of mom friends. If you have kids, you 100% need mom friends. Our generation lives in a time where you can have “friends” who are completely virtual.... Yep, I went there. I joined a Facebook group that is specifically for twin moms and those women are amazing. I love them so much that I actually went on a MoMs (Moms of multiples) Trip this summer. They get me. They understand what I’m feeling and typically have advice on how to handle the most obscene situations. Next, I went to a New Mamas class when the boys were 3 months old. I don’t think everyone gets this lucky, but every single mom that was in this class was so cool. We all liked each other and we still message occasionally - our “new babys”, aka toddlers now, are all at the same developmental stages! We can compare notes and be there for each other when times are tough. I highly suggest that you reach out to Moms who are in the same stage of motherhood as you, it’s a time of life where you really need someone to help guide you through the ups and downs.
Dictionary.com defines friendship as, “a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations.” To start wrapping this up, just understand that friendship in motherhood looks completely different than friendship before motherhood. Some friendships may change in motherhood... Some positively and some negatively. But you will always have friends who care deeply about you, even if you don’t see them every day, every week or even every month. My advice on keeping the friendship alive? If you think about someone, call them. If you think of a funny memory of the two of you, text it to them. No one was ever sad about receiving a heartfelt note from a dear friend.